Keep a close watch on yourself…

Do you ever say something to someone and think, why the heck did I just say that? Sometimes I’ll act a way towards Scott and immediately think… now that doesn’t really display characteristics of a Godly wife.. Or I go through and entire day without displaying love as Christ would towards somebody. Lately I feel as if I’m walking around as a zombie, emotional, careless and not showing love.. I got a new devotional yesterday and I was starting to flip to today’s devotion when May 20th caught my eye. “Keep a close watch on yourself” ding, ding, ding! I really didn’t have to even read it to know that was for me. Scott is backgrounds for the fire department and while that should bring excitement and put an end to my anxieties, I feel that it’s like a volcano about to erupt because all of the anticipation, all of the waiting we’ve done for the past 4 years is finally here. This is the moment we’ve been waiting for, it’s all led up to this. By no means is our waiting over, he will still have to go through a number of hoops to officially be hired. So I chalk the zombie actions up to the stress and anticipation of our lives going through the ringer these days plus the struggles with being unhappy at my job. Which leads me full circle to what I was saying earlier, keep a close watch… I know deep down, actually not even that deep, I know that this time more than any I need to have the peace that surpasses all understanding (Phil. 4:6-7) and I need to be watching myself very carefully because how I act during the trials are what count the most. So this is me… snapping out of the funk. Tada see how easy it is when you Jesus as your Lord and Savior! There is a purpose for everywhere you are put in your life, your called according to his purpose (2 Timothy 1:9) even if your struggling, there is a reason your there.. A good friend sent me this verse yesterday, it’s Psalm 42:11 “Why am I so discouraged? Why is my heart so sad? I will put my hope in God! I will praise Him again – my Savior and my God!”  Amen.

I’ll be back later to post at least one of my recent shoots since I’ve been a such a slacker lately. Have a great day!

Oh yeah and I’ve been saving this photo for a long time waiting for an appropriate time to post it, not really sure this is that time, but I’m going with it anyway. I’m trying to cut out sweets right now too (minus the rice crispy treat I had last night, because one of my favorites made it so I just had to eat it) so it’s encouraging because I don’t need to get that belly!

ice cream

Bye for now.

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