To my little olive..

I thought twice about doing this particular post because it does sadden me in my heart, right down to the very core. But I just thought about the future, and I thought about the fact that I won’t feel like this forever, and I’d like remember the feelings I feel now, and what I’ve learned so far. And I thought about the other people who might possibly be reading this and going through something similar who could be encouraged to have faith.

I had to say goodbye to you before I got to say hello.

I would just sit and dream about what you would look like, the places I would take you, and how much our family would love you. I know it wasn’t long, but you can dream a lot in 10 weeks. One week ago today I was day dreaming about hearing your heartbeat, getting my due date and thinking about the future.. Then my heart was ripped out, kicked and stepped on a few times. This can’t be happening, this can’t be happening… Fast forward past the non-stop hurting… It still hurts but I’m learning more each day. I’ve learned for the next time not to focus on silly things like labor, or morning sickness or anything else selfish. But to focus on being so completely thankful that I have a precious baby growing inside of me. And to focus on praying for that baby every day.

I prayed for your salvation and that one day you’d choose Jesus as your loving Savior. My prayer was answered early, but it was answered, because you’re sitting with our Savior now.

I’m able to look forward now, I know God has a purpose in all of this, I believe it with every ounce of my being. That’s why we’ll keep going, hold on to the lessons we’ve learned, and hope for the future. I love you our little baby olive, you’ll forever have a place in our hearts.

Love, mommy

Ps. 28:7 “the Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped.”

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6 thoughts on “To my little olive..

  1. This post is so beautiful Jess! Your baby olive is with our Lord and one day olive will meet us in the clouds and you will spend eternity with olive, worshiping our Lord! I love to see what this experience has taught you and that you have clung to God. What else can you do? This is a real testimony of God’s love for us and He has prepared you to share this with so many women who will have to endure this trial as well. You will be there as support for them, and to show them love in a way that only you can. You are such a beautiful woman of God and have taught me so much in this. Thank you for your friendship and your example of true love. <3

  2. Jessica thank you so much for sharing. This seriously just made me cry. Just want you to know I have been praying for you and Scott and your families that you would be comforted in this hard time. I can’t even imagine, but like you said God has a purpose and we are to trust Him. I will continue to be in prayer for you guys! <3

  3. Thanks Sam, this has been such a heartbreaking experience and really I have no choice but lean on the Lord. He knows every heartbreak, every tear so I find comfort in going to him because of that. I’ll never forget this experience, always think of my baby, but I’ll keep going, holding onto Jesus.

    And thank you Nicole for praying for us, I really, truly feel that is why I have found my way through this is because of all of the constant prayer and support my family has given me, my best friends and my church family. Without that, ugh I don’t want to think how I would be today. A mess for sure! It is so hard to imagine, even for me now I still can’t believe it’s happening. But it is, and what a lesson we’ve been taught.

    Thank you girls, I love you.

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