Remember our impromptu trip to Mexico a few weeks ago? Well it seems it did us good because this past Monday I found out that I’m pregnant!! I can’t even begin to describe the joy I feel, sometimes I had thought that it would never happen again. You would think I would be used to it by now, but I’m always amazed at how the Lord works these things out so perfectly just with the timing of the trip and everything. Although if you look at it from a wordly perspective… probably not the best time to have a baby.. I don’t even have health insurance! Scott isn’t working, we don’t even know what we’re going to do about the house.. I find it quite humorous actually.
Obviously with two miscarriages already, Scott’s first, or should I say second reaction was warning me to be cautious. I agree with him but I know at the same time I cannot act like I did with my last pregnancy. I was sooo stressed out, and worried and just a terrible person during that time. I had prayed and asked God to give me the gift of a baby and then once I was given that, I had no trust in Him to take care of it. The first pregnancy, I practically had the nursery painted (not really, but mentally I was already thinking 9 months down the road) Soo, my thinking is to be somewhere in between those two extremes. So happy, and thankful, not afraid to talk and think about the baby and then cautious at the same time. Perfect. Not only that, but most importantly have peace. From the moment I saw those two pink lines I’ve had this peace. I can’t really describe it other than just knowing that no matter what the Lord never leaves, and always uses it for His good. If Scott and I could sum up our past year with one lesson that would be it. Worrying about what’s going to happen does no good, because God always works it out for the best. I know without a doubt in my mind God has used our story, and this blog for His glory. My thinking is whether our baby is inside my belly for six weeks or 9 months, I’m going to choose to be happy and at peace. For however long it is, our baby will know that I love them. With the last pregnancy, I honestly felt guilt. Guilt that I didn’t love her enough because I spent the whole time she was alive worried. Not this time, no way. I know that this early babies cannot hear but I talk to them all the time, mostly through prayer. Telling them to be strong and stay safe, and that I can’t wait to hold them in my arms. Praying to our mighty God at the same time.
Which brings me to a main reason why I chose to go public so early with this. (public as in the 7 readers who read this blog) ha. But because I would like to ask the 7 of you to pray, pray for me to continue having peace, pray for our baby to be strong and that I’m able to hold them in my arms in about 8 months. I would love that, and prayer really works! I know firsthand that it does! Scott and I, and our little apple seed thank you. xoxo j.
(This is the picture I sent my best friends to let them know. It’s not that Scott isn’t excited, he just really doesn’t like me taking his picture ha!)
“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:6-7