I wasn’t going to post anything today, but I kept meaning to give an update at the end of my other posts but keep forgetting so I’ll just do a quick one now. Not that there is actually a real update or anything, I’m still waiting to see if I qualify for AIM. I was told I could find out yesterday after 5pm but of course when I called it was still being processed. Now my answer will come tomorrow after 5. I’m actually quite annoyed… with myself mostly, I’ve done such a good job at the not worrying thing.. until last night. I don’t know if it’s the fact the I will probably have insurance very soon, and the fact that that means I’ll be going to the doctor soon. You see I think I’ve been okay knowing how far away my appointment was, but now that it’s getting closer and closer I’m getting more and more nervous. I just keep imagining Dr. Dimmette telling me the same thing I’ve heard twice before, there is no heartbeat. It’s ridiculous though, worrying doesn’t help. It could also be this weather, I don’t like when it’s all gloomy, makes me feel gloomy too.
In my personal devotions I have been reading 1 John, a great book about God’s love and how we should love others. You can learn from every.single.verse in the bible, but there are times where it affects you deeper than others. It didn’t really hit me until this morning.. 1 John 5 verse 14, “Now this is the confidence that we have in Him, that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us.” This is what the commentary I read says about this verse, “It is ok to ask; to ask anything; to ask anything according to His will; and once we have asked, to have the assurance that He hears me.” Basically if we line our lives and what we want up with God’s will for our lives, it will be given to us. Now, I’m not going to ask for a million dollars, because I’m pretty positive that’s not in God’s will for my life. But a healthy baby, that is definitely possible. So, if I pray that God’s will would give us a healthy baby in May, He hears me and I just have to trust. Now, if that isn’t His will for me at this time, if I’m lined up with where the Lord wants me, I’ll understand that too. Will I be yet again heartbroken, most definitely, but I will have peace in knowing that it will be okay. Now here is my little commentary, “If you think of things according to His will, it’s much easier to have peace. If it’s His will, it will happen. If it isn’t, it won’t but He’ll be with us every step of the way.” Right? Right!
Sometimes I feel bad for the unsuspecting souls who just want to see my photos, or perhaps the one who happens to stumble onto my blog and reads this outpouring of my endless thought processes. If that is you, please come back to see some pretty pictures another time. And because we all know posts are better with a picture. Especially one from Instagram.
Scott absolutely hates my rain boots, I just think they’re funny. Since yesterday was our first day with rain I had to throw them on to get them ready. But I was still wearing shorts because I’m in denial that summer is over! As much as he despises them, yesterday they gave me magical powers! I was able to get some cleaning done, make a big lunch and bake pumpkin bread! I had more energy yesterday morning that I have any other morning in 3 weeks :)
Thanks for reading! And if you get a minute, say a quick prayer for me. I don’t want to be a nervous wreck the day that I have my appointment! Thank you from the Williams, xoxo