Being a mommy is really just like what everyone says.. well in the aspect of how much your heart grows. And how you cannot imagine life without him. How you would do anything even die for him. Scott and I have talked about these things now on several occasions. (Scott is a completely different person as well, which is weird.. A good weird) He’s kind of a big softy now, which is something I never expected but definitely welcome. I’ve never believed in love at first sight until I met our son.
One of my favorite things so far is being able to nurse, it’s such an amazing blessing. It’s such a precious time between a mommy and her baby. Sometimes my efforts during nursing are spent trying to keep him awake, but my favorite is when he is wide awake and looking straight at me. His eyes never seem so big and curious as when he is so close to me and looking either at me or exploring the world (or room) around us. This might sound ridiculous but during the time we were trying to get a successful pregnancy I would look at nursing moms (I promise this isn’t going to get weird or anything!) but I would look and see those teeny tiny feet sticking out from under the nursing cover and want so badly to have that. Now, to see those teeny tiny feet and know they are all mine. I think that is one of the reasons I wanted so badly to be able to nurse him. (probably sounds pretty lame to some people but that’s okay) It’s so crazy too because when I first brought Grayson home his feet barely went past my stomach and now they touch the bed/or couch! He can push up with his legs sometimes because they rest on whatever I’m sitting on!! Time really does fly..Motherhood is both easier and harder than I thought it would be. People say oh your life completely changes once you have a baby, almost insinuating it’s a bad thing some times, or a hassle. I know they don’t think that the baby is a “hassle” just everything that comes along with it. The feedings and dirty diapers, organizing a diaper bag, planning the outings.. Can I say I love that part of it! I love dressing him, he’s like my very own Cabbage Patch Doll. I welcome this complete change with open arms. I feel like I was made for this. I believe I was just more prepared than other people were, that makes it easier. The hard part is the crying, and Grayson doesn’t even do it that much. I was telling Scott the other day, when you get burnt out on work.. You have a weekend off, or take a vacation and recharge your batteries a little bit.. There ain’t no vacation from crying! I honestly can’t imagine having a baby (and please God don’t want to know right now) what it’s like to have a baby that cries constantly.
Now I know he is only 7 1/2 weeks old and things might possibly get harder, this is just motherhood for me now, in this moment. It is everything I’d hoped it would be and so much more. Thank you Jesus for blessing us with the precious boy.