Never say never

sleeping1
Don’t worry I am not going to start singing Justin Beiber (is that even how you spell it?!) Just a little something something on my mind today. I have to believe that every woman does it.. we all say to ourselves either when we’re around someone else’s kids or see a mom in the store or restaurant or whatever the situation may be. We say to ourselves, I will never blah blah. To name a few I would tell myself, I will never bribe my kids to be good.. they will behave like they should all.the.time. (that’s a good one) I will never use an electronic device to entertain my (well behaved) child in a restaurant. (yeah right like that hasn’t already been happening) and I will certainly never have a television in our kids room. Especially not when they’re toddlers. There is just no need for that. That brings me to where I am today.. I have always mentioned here that Grayson has fought his sleep, and getting him to bed has almost always been a battle. Pretty much since day one it has. Before he was born I knew that I would use Baby Wise. It isn’t for everyone, but it is what we choose for us; and would choose over again with any of our other children. Did it work for Grayson? Not quite. But I don’t know if anything but letting him sleep with us would work, and that is not for us. Since we’ve been living with my parents it has been way more a habit than I would like to admit. Do I love waking up and seeing my greatest gift sleeping peacefully? Absolutely! But like I said, not for us. For us, our bed is for Scott and I, it’s our time alone. If I have learned anything since I’ve had Grayson it’s you do what is right for you. Period. End of story. With that being said, a tv for bed.. Recently Grayson has had a severe flare up of his excema, like so bad that in-between his fingers bled because of how dry and itchy they got. Since then (over a month ago) he refuses to go to sleep and wakes up anywhere between 1:30 and 4:00 and refuses to go back to sleep unless he’s in our room. Since he is older and has grown up so much in the past couple of months his nightly tantrums are much worse than they use to be. So since the bad excema and horrible nights there has been three times well four times after last night, that after about 20 minutes of crying I go in there,  I will rock him to get him calm and then I’ve given him the iPad to watch a movie. All four times he has fallen asleep within five minutes. So my dilemma is, do I continue to let him cry just to see if he’ll eventually go to sleep like he should.. or just give in to the idea of technology comforting him. Because at this point I have nothing else to try.

Living with family while having a family of my own has been tough, but his sleeping habits have added to the stress ten-fold. I continue to pray that something will change with him and it will become easier for him to sleep. For about three or four months it was heaven, he slept amazingly. So I am praying that will happen again. When we move, Scott wants to have the dogs sleep near him. Either in his room or the hallway close by.. thinking maybe it’ll help. They just make a lot of noise in the middle of the night occasionally and I’m kind of worried it’ll wake him. But it’s worth a shot! If you’re a mom then you probably know from something you’ve experienced  (or you will eventually) that is hard, it discourages you. Makes you doubt if you’re a good mom and if you’ve made the right choices. In reality we know that’s not true, but in the hard moments you doubt it all.

If you have thoughts on the iPad thing let me know! I know not everyone believes the Baby Wise-style is the way to go and I am not asking for advice as far as that goes, just wanted to give a little back story of how we’ve put him to sleep for those that would wonder.

sleeping2(totally pixelated iPhone pictures but it’s all I got for 2:00 AM) I love him so much! The way he is sleeping in this one cracks me up, my sweet boy.

Hope you have a great Monday!

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